I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
