Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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