last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
