He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
