Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
