addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
