dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
