Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
