Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
