so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize