is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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