i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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