drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
