sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
