Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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