The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
