so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
