planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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