He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize