Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
