I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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