Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize