She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
