he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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