You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize