she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
