We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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