I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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