Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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