Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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