just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
