I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
