why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
