Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
