You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
