nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
