It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
