and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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