Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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