I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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