My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i think im in europe. pls send help
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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