All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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