Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
