guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
