guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Couch. On fire.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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