To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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