Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize