yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
