You're so nebulous sometimes
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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