dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
