I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
