It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
