you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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