Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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