I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
