wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
