So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize