OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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