i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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