You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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