On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't EVER smell your tampon
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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