therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she smelled like a LAN party
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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