There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
there is puke in my bra ... again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
