I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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