You're my little dorito
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
